Poem: I'm Sure (and some rambling)

So, I just re-read my last post. And thought, wow that happened in the summer. Mid-Summer. It's now mid November. A lot has happened between me getting lost in Vancouver and thinking I burnt down a house til now. Well, not a lot persay. Just time. Time has happened. I do remember over the last few months going "I could blog about this" I really did think about it. But even in my head it always sounded so preachy and pointless. Less like me and more like I was just blogging for the sake of having a post for people to read, and to make me sound intelligent. Although I did have a mental freak out at a lady that I wanted to post about what it means to be Canadian. I think I should post that later. But not now because I actually know what I am going to post right now. Nothing epically fantastic mind, just an idea I've got. But I think I'll finish with that, I'm having to much fun rambling right now.

So I still a Crew Trainer at McDonalds. I'm still a Youth Leader and still help in Sunday School. I still don't like white chocolate but am eating it right now because I really want chocolate, have run out of milk chocolate and detest the dark stuff.

I still write though, I promise I still write. I have finished my short story "The Third School" (maybe I'll post it on here later for you all to read) and am working on characters for a novel. And I was getting so excited because I only had two characters left to do before I could start plotting and actually ACTUALLY working on the story. Just Granny and Moe and I would be done. But then - George. George happened. I have to add another character. Oh well. I am still writing.

Well anyways, what I was actually going to write about to you. I have decided, while looking through my iPod stuff, that I have some poems. And really poetry isn't meant to be kept to oneself. And while I think I have shown them to some people I think I want to share it with more. And what better way then this. (Apparently Facebook gets the rights if you post it there). So every so often I'll post a poem I wrote. Just for the fun of it.

Anyways this is one of my favourites called "I'm Sure?" that I wrote back in January. (I also like how poetry looks under a 'centered' format)

I'M SURE

How stunning is the frost that comes

To turn the flesh to stone -

I'm sure that Jack meant well

I'm sure that Jack meant squat,

I'm sure that colours bored the child

And that's why Jack is Frost.

How radiant the sunrise

That kills the night away -

I'm sure the sun meant well

I'm sure the colours too,

But starlight always led the lost

And now the clouds will too.

How elegant the fall of man

Which led us all astray -

I'm sure it came a quite surprise

I'm sure they weren't prepared,

I'm sure they never knew too well

That Death had such the skill.

How dazzling does that life do come

It comes to take you home -

I'm sure that Death was sure he won

I'm sure that you were too

But artists always loved the art

And God the people too.

Upside down, Inside out, and all shook up

So I started writing this post while the sun was still up, drinking a class of cola, listening to random YouTube videos trying to convince myself that I really am truly awake. I'm not posting this until tomorrow - when I've had the time to go through it and edit it. You'll see why this is necessary as you read this. Right now, I'm exhausted. So why am I blogging while I'm tired? Well, I think I can remember more of yesterday and its effects while I'm tired? Well I just wanna get it out while its still fresh in my mind. (Really I didn't know at the time, and frankly, I still don't)

So my post really begins on Tuesday. On Tuesday I started house sitting for some friends of mine. I was making myself some mac-and-cheese, real style (so real macaroni and shredded cheese, not that boxed stuffed) and one piece of cheese fell (unnoticed) under the element. The next night (Wednesday) I'm making dinner again and suddenly "whooof" the unnoticed cheese is on fire. Remarkably I don't panic (probably has to do with the fact that it was a small flame) but turn of the element and move the stove (no, I didn't move the stove. I moved the element, pot.) I moved the POT onto a different element. (This is why I shouldn't write when I'm tired) The flame died quickly. This is important.

Anyways, so Wednesday night was also a young adults night, and the plan was to go to a lighthouse and beach in Vancouver. I got a ride out with three of my friends (Eowyn, Katrina and Serena), but the directions we had were faulty. At one point it told us to turn right, so we did. We get ALL the way to the end of the road to realize it was the wrong way, back tracked and continued on. We were supposed to go left, not right. But anyways, we eventually figured it out and made it to the park.

We had fun. It was nice and relaxing, and the scenery was beautiful. Then we left for home.

Left being the key and operative word there. Remember we have faulty directions. And we are trying to read them backwards. It is also dark out, so we are reading these faulty directions - backwards - by the eight-seconds glow of a cellphone. So of course, we missed a step. Needless to say, we were lost. We tried to find ourselves though, going back to the last street we remembered thinking we just had to go the other way, which only got us more and more and more lost. Finally we decided we would go to the Safeway we had seen earlier (it was on one of the steps anyways) and go in and ask for directions. So we headed in the direction we thought it was and kept going
and going
and going
and going
all the way to the Marina. The Marina wasn't on any of the directions, nor had we passed it earlier. So we head back down the road. A few minutes later we spotted something, a sign. The sign telling us we were at the Lighthouse Park! We were back to square one. It was a miracle really. Cause then we went slower and carefully followed the directions (getting minorly lost only one more time) and we were on the highway home!

It only took half an hour, or so. Could have been longer.

So all we want to do now is to go home. There was two lanes of slow moving traffic (which we were in) and one quick moving lane. So of course, we go into the quick moving lane. Only to realize the reason it was going quicker was because they were all being forced to merge back into the lane we just pulled out of. So we were now FARTHER back then before. Whoops. And then both lanes of slow moving traffic had to merge into one lane. But we got through it and finally ended up back home.

All of that driving naturally meant that we needed to get gas. So we stopped at a local gas station in town, and while Eowyn was filling up the tank an ambulance went by - in the general direction of the house I am house-sitting (also my house and my church are in the same direction) and for some reason the first honest-to-goodness thought I think is "I really hope I didn't burn the house down." Eowyn assured me that I didn't burn the house down as we continued on our journey.

So we turn onto the street that I'm house sitting on and what do we see? Six to eight or so sets of blue and cherry lights (police and ambulances). Now, although there is no orange glow and no smoke I am now CONVINCED I have burnt down someone else's house! And Eowyn isn't sounding so sure when she says "No, you couldn't have" So we go the long way around - since you can't really just cut through a bunch of police cars that are just sitting there. By the time we get to the house - which is still standing, NOT on fire nor ever on fire - there is only one police vehicle left. We think it was an accident that had happened or something, but we don't know for sure.

Needless to say I went to bed just after midnight - and had to work at six in the morning.

So, I realized I was wrong. I didn't write this all on Thursday like I said I was going too. I was way to tired (and you can read why right above you) and ended up zoning out instead. And then the next day I was too busy going to the movies with my cousin. So I finish this now, and will edit it later when I get home. Not that it really matters, seeing as you get to read it all at once.

Anyways, thank you for sharing in the enjoyment of last Wednesday night.

Although for the record. It was a super fun night. And I would repeat it again in a heartbeat.

Well, go back to that night and go through it again, I would rather not get lost in Vancouver at night or think I have burnt down someones house. It was just a fun crazy night that I am going to remember for ever and tell all my grandchildren about when they complain their GPS (or whatever techno stuff they have then) breaks down.

Hollie

A poem

So I wrote a poem today. I didn't really mean to. I just got two lines, so I wrote them down. Then I got a few more lines, so I wrote them down. And then a few more, and so on and so on. And I had a poem.

Before I let you read it, let me tell you something random. If you ever want to confuse someone honestly answer the question "How are you today?" - especially if the answer is 'horrible' or 'not so good.' At work I always ask my customers how they're day is going and one day on of them asked "Do you really even care?" I thought about it for a moment and I was. I really do like to know how people are doing, and make their days go better.

Also, lots of times, even with people I know, I get told "I'm fine" even if their not. And I don't really know why. So this poem is kinda about that.

And no, it doesn't have a title.

Don't tell me that you're fine

When I see brokenness inside,

Your lips, they smile

Your eyes, they cry.

Desperately pleading

Silently screaming

Insisting always "I'm fine."

I have two shoulders, ears and arms,

Crying eyes and a healing heart,

Shoulders trained to hold your tears

Ears to listen, arms to hold

Eyes to cry cause you're not alone -

A healing heart that's not yet whole

I'm not fine

And you're not too,

But I know the One

Who'll bring us through

And that is my latest poem

Hollie

Three C's and a Katie

Hey everyone, great news! My dad has put anti-virus on the computer which now connects to internet. Which means I will finally be able to blog more. Yay! Starting today :) Which hopefully means less "bla" posts. Anyway, on to this one -

So the other day I was sitting at my dresser plucking my eyebrows and I had to stop and wonder, what had become of me? I mean me, WILLINGLY plucking my eyebrows. That is not something that I would have done before. Add that to the fact that cluttered around my mirror and fishtank and littering the desk next to the dresser was make-up and hair accessories and other such girly prettiness that old me would have balked at. Would have criticized me for. Old me would be leerly of my dresser and desk. And really there are four contributing factors to this, whether they really knew it or not. I shall call them, the Three C's and a Katie.

The first C would be my Cousin Kelli. Kelli was the cousin I lived with for a few months when I was eleven. I'm now a now the same age she was when I lived with her and for one I don't think I could be responsible for a  pre-teen. But that's besides the point. Anyways Kelli was like a really cool big sister. She would take me shopping, talk about clothes, make-up, girl issues, boy issues, friend issues.

(this is a girl related issue/clothing store/paragraph)
I remember one time she took me and my best friend at the time to La Senza Girls when we were both somewhere between 11 and 12. And we both, (this friend and me) found the underclothes equivalent of Best Friend Necklaces. We were both still pretty new to the whole thing let alone that they came in designs! Kelli was the one who explained the importance of designed understuffs even if/though no one but ourself was going to see it. Just because it would make you feel pretty, and cool, and older (we were still to young for sexy)
(aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand safe)

This was important just for the reminder to feel pretty for myself, not for someone else. Whether she knew it or not Kelli had planted a good seed of feminine/girly/self esteem stuff that didn't really grow until I was older - with help from the other C's.

Definitively NOT Old Me

The second C would be my Cousin Kim. All through my teenage-hood my Cousin Kim would take me for hair cuts, take me shopping for clothes, trying to get me to wear make-up. Really out of all the three C's Cousin Kim was probably the one that pushed the hardest. Remember, I was that weird kid that hid behind her hair, and ill fitting clothes, and books. The biggest thing that Cousin Kim pushed for as I got older was for me to pluck my eyebrows. Just to shape them, and clean up the look a bit. Just to do something. ANYTHING.

That wasn't the only thing Cousin Kim tried to help me with, but it's the example I'm going to use. She even helped me get ready for prom. Although I didn't have my eyebrows taken care of (like she wanted) she did get me in make up (which I didn't want)

Cousin Kim took the seed that Kelli had planted and nurtured it. Watered it. Fed it. Begged it to grow.

The third C would be my Cousin Cynthia. Cynthia and Cousin Kim worked together it seemed. But Cynthia was the one who would try to do my make-up. Or get me into make-up. Or really, just try to bring home what Cousin Kim was trying to teach me.

So really Cynthia was like another gardener into this "Pretty Seed"

But really despite all their efforts nothing really happened. Until a Katie came along. And really I don't understand what Katie does, but she does it so well. Maybe it's because I already had this pressurized, watered, fed, ready to grow seed planted in me - but Katie managed to turn their efforts into a success. I can't really explain it. God just orchestrated it so well.

But as we know, I know wear make-up, pluck my eyebrows (not consistently, only when they look bad), and wear pretty clothes (just for me). And none of it would have happened without Three C's and a Katie.

And why is this relevant you ask? Well let me tell you. I was thinking lately. Lots of times when 'spreading the gospel' its called "Planting Seeds" and lots of people get discouraged because they're one of the C's. They either just plant a seed without really knowing what will happen. Or they'll be the ones really investing into the seed crying over it, begging it, praying for it to grow. Or they could be the one that helps the second. But then a Katie comes along and makes it look like childsplay.

But really I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for Kelli, Kim, or Cynthia investing into me. And it wouldn't have been that easy for Katie if they hadn't invested into me either.

36Already he who reaps is receiving wages and is gathering fruit for life eternal; so that he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. 37For it this case the saying is true, "One sows and another reaps." 38I sent you to reap that for which you have not labored; others have labored and you have entered into their labor.

John 4:36-38

So really my three C's and a Katie were just putting a spiritual reality into a physical workings. So just keep planting those seeds of faith if your planting. Or tending to them if your a tender. Or crying and begging and praying if your a cryer/begger/pray...er person. And don't begrudge the Katie's. They're all important.

Hollie.

Gumbo

So I do an don't have internet again. We have wifi at my house, but my computer won't connect to it :( so I'm still scrounging around to use other peoples computers or dragging my computer places - which isn't fun and a lot of work so I mainly just wait until I have a chance too.

I was actually going to blog this weekend. I got onto the website, opened up a fresh blog sheet and drew a blank. Which is so weird, I've had so many blog post ideas but right then - nothing. Maybe it was just that all the idea's had been happening for a while that it didn't seem 'fresh' to me. Or I could just be procrastinating. But more to the matter I am here now and posting! Yay!

Now to what I'm blogging on. Nothing exceedingly epic has happened over these last few months. I'm still single, all of my single friends are still single, and all my friends that were dating are still dating. Work is still work, although on the upside of that I get to be on a McDs "Street Team" which helps out at fun events around town. Pretty stoked about it.

Right, blogging.

So, there are a few things going on right now that are real "eeeer, eeee, ahhh," tensities for me, which of course God is going "Just trust Me" and they range from ridiculously shallow to annoyances to full on lip biting butterflies. Them being, my hair (ridiculously shallow), my job (annoyances), and my story (lip biting butterflies).

We'll start off with the ridiculously shallow. I am growing out my hair. And I'm sure you're wondering why this is an "eeeeer, eeee, aahhh" thing that really requires me to trust God. I'll get there.

So for the longest time I had long hair. As a kid I had long hair, and it was pretty. Then around grade 4 my mom cut it, and it was short until around grade 8 when I decided to just grow it out. I only got it really cut a few times, mainly to my shoulder or something. But I was gonna grow it out. I had also decided that I wasn't going to cut my bangs until they were the same length as the rest of my hair (horrible right?) and I didn't get it trimmed that often. So needless to say I hadabsolutely goshdarn awful hair! And again, then came interns, and I decided one day to just chop it short. The first time I did, it looked kinda silly. But then I went back around Christmas and cut it shorter and it looked nice. Since then I've learned how to style short hair, I've learned how to wear short hair, I've learned what earrings to match with short hair. I know the lengths I like, and I know what looks good.

But I noticed how nice the hair looked on people who had really nice long hair. And then I was debating it, I mean if i kept it nice this time maybe it would look nice. Long story short, I was talking to a girl at work about it (who is also a hairdresser, and is now my hairdresser) and she said to grow it, and so many friends were too. And even God was saying to grow it.

How is me growing out my hair trusting God? Well like I said I know I look good with short hair. I know how to wear it. And the last time I had long hair I kinda failed at it. So its a matter of trust that long hair will look good too. (Which, if your wondering, is very big when your a girl)

And then, my job. Oh my job. I love my job. I really do. Even on the days that I hate it, I love it. And so far every time I have seriously entertained the idea of quitting God tells me "No" and it sucks cause I really want to quit, but then I stay and suddenly I love my job even more. But right now is weird, in that I love it, but at the same time I'm watching so many people get promoted, and I'm not. So of course I go and whine to God about it (bad idea, just saying).

How I am trusting God with me job: maybe I'm not getting bumped up because I need to be where I am. Maybe being bumped up will give me less time to do what He plans, or it will get in the way of what/where I need to be (like that awful booth sometimes. I hate that booth, but I love my regular D/T customers) Also He put me on the Street Team, so I get to go and participate in a lot of fun other events with my job. And really, I'm not exactly great at handling stress, which a promotion would bring so - Trusting God that He really knows what I can handle and He is in charge of my job.

And finally my story. Without giving away too many details right now, I actually succeeded in FINISHING a story. Not just starting to write one mind you, finishing one. And the whole thing with the story is I had had the idea for a while, but my writers insecurities rose up and said "You can't write that. You don't know anything about it. You're not a mom. You've never been faced with this. What makes you think you can write this?" So I was going to wait until I was older and "more experienced" to write it. But then one night at a prayer group some friends and I go to on Wednesdays God really said "Do it!" So I told some of the other girls there about it so they would make sure I actually wrote it, cause I wouldn't other wise.

And they were good friends about it too. They would text me to make sure I'm writing. Ask how it was going. You know all that cool stuff. And then I finished it. And then I edited it. But then it was time to expand it. So I got some of my story accountability friends to edit it, so it became more and more polished. And then I handed it off to someone a little older then me to edit it. And finally right now its with my awesome friend Bonnie.

But the thing is, is what do I do next? God didn't just tell me to write a story because He thought I looked bored and needed something to do. So for sure I'm going to talk to my paster and get his approval on it. But after that I really don't know whats going to happen with it. I don't know where it's going to go. How its going to go there.

And God has brought me this far, so He must have something planned for it. And its exciting. And its nerve-wracking because I like having all my ducks in a row. And I don't know whats going to happen with it at all. But I'll keep you posted.

Oh and PS - about the puddle jumping photo's. I just went puddle jumping the other day and it brought to mind a picture of "running the race." Because I had to hunt for those puddles. There weren't any at my house, so I had to go out of my way to puddle jump. Following Jesus will take you "out of your way." When I got there I had to be willing to look foolish. Because there I was, a twenty year old, jumping and splashing around in puddles, which is something only "little kids do". Sometimes God calls us to do the things that look kinda silly to everyone else. But we do them anyways. And then I got messy. You don't stay dry and clean and your clothes don't stay the same as you jump in puddles. Now yes God does clean you, but it caught my attention in a Miss Frizzle sort of way: "You gotta take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!" which is so true.

Anyways, thanks for still reading my sporadicalness

Hollie :D

God is NOT a hockey fan

Wait wait wait wait, before you all get your pitchforks and torches out let me explain. I'm not meaning God sits there arms crossed glairing at hockey players and fans. He gives people the talent to play hockey so... what I mean is God does not behave as a  hockey fan.

Let me explain.

I live in and around the Vancouver area. So right now in the playoff's its Canucks EVERYTHING! And I've noticed a few things about the Canucks goalie. Or, more appropriatly, the people who commentate on the Canucks goalie. I mean poor Robert Luongo. To explain lets go into "Somewhat Figurative Land"

So in this set of the playoffs the Canucks are facing the Kings. Now lets say for all three periods they are tied 0-0 and go into overtime. And then in over time one of the other Canuck players (as you can tell I have studied hockey intensely) scores! Yay! We win!

Suddenly everyone LOVES Luongo. I mean they love him. Everyone has posters of him and wants him to sign them. To sign their babies. To bless their babies. To have their babies (I'm sure).

They are ready to build a golden Luongo statue and have the province bow down to it at the blowing of the air horn! And all those who don't will be cast into the fiery furnace. To be run over repeatedly by the Zamboni

And don't you dare speak bad about Luongo. Oh no, he's a hockey god.




And then........comes the next game.

Canucks and Kings tied 2-2 goes into overtime. This time one of the Kings score. We lose.

Suddenly everyone hates Luongo! I mean he let three goals in people! THREE! 


There's a cleansing of the high places going on. Tear down that golden statues, burn your posters replace them with Snyder (that's the other goalie right?) posters. Don't you dare speak good of that Lou guy.


He can't stop a hockey puck to save his life. No he only makes the big bucks to do so. But that's besides the point. He's awful! Through him under the Zamboni! Start another riot over how awful he is!

Hockey god? HA! More like Hockey slob!





And then - the next game, complete shut out for us - didn't even go into over time.

WE LOVE LUONGO! Re-put up that statue. Why was it taken down? Blow that air horn!

And so on and so on.



They only ever love him when he is doing good. They're ready to stone him when he isn't. Like the poor guy has to be perfect. No one can live up to perfections (asides Jesus of course)

God however, does not act like this. He doesn't just love you when you are rockin it. When you helped that old lady cross the street. When you return a child to their mother. When you got an A on your biology test (without cheating). And he doesn't hate you when you tell a lie or when you back talk to your mom, or if you lost your job. God doesn't hate you when you just aren't perfect.

God LOVES you.

And what is love?

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

LOVE NEVER FAILS

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

God is not a hypocrite. He will not believe in you, hope for you, endure for you only when you're doing good. And He won't fail you when you are doing horrible. God LOVES you.

God is not a hockey fan.

Hollie.

The ramblings of a mind that has not blogged in months

So I still have no Internet. And my I don't take my computer to work. Hence the lack of blogging. In fact right now I'm borrowing a friends laptop while we watch a movie. Yay!

I'm sorry. I miss doing this, I really do. And I always get such great topics - and here I am blanking.

Well according to my thing I have posted since January! Holy Moly. I'm sorry. Well since then I've been to a Youth Conference in Seattle, and we had a guest speaker at church - Jim Anderson. He's awesome. And I've been working, and writing, and pretty much doing nothing to epic.

I did blend up an entire Happy Meal and got some youth kids to drink it (so gross). I have decided to grow out my hair for no other reason then for something to do. I am planning to pass my N test in a few weeks.

I really really promise I had so many ideas to blog about :( I will invest in the Internet soon! I hope.

My two new favourite lines:
"Please let me save you!" from Mirror Mirror
and
"Please tell me there was a murder, otherwise I have to keep writing!" from Castle

I have become very good at procrastinating on my writing. Castle doesn't help.

However this has reminded me about a post I was gonna do on the the quote from Mirror Mirror but now that I am rambling I will have to wait until next time. Which I hope will be soon (I'll steal my own laptop to some free wifi place or something and post).

And really if I am to continue posting I will continue rambling because I its like 11pm and I'm tired.

So this is just to let you all know I'm alive, I haven't forgotten about this blog and I do plan on posting.

Hollie

Love at first sight

I was thinking the other night - the coolest person alive when I was a kid was my cousin Shay. Don't get me wrong, my Grandma and Grandpa and Oma were cool. My parents were as cool as parents could be. I had (still have actually) awesome Aunts and Uncles. And my other cousins were cool too. But Shay, who's five or six years older then me, was the coolest person alive. On the entire planet really. And I didn't even know how big the planet was back then.

She and her sister and parents lived in the next town over from me (pre-Ontario) so I got to see her a lot. Some people had an awesome older sibling that taught them everything - I had an awesome older cousin. She played hockey, and so one day she tried to teach me how to play hockey in their driveway. I wasn't very good. I'm not really a sports oriented person, so it didn't end very well. I still don't know how to play hockey. She would let me jump on the trampoline with her and she would try her best not to double bounce me.

We did some pretty fun things together. Once I had spent the night and in the morning we decided we wanted pancakes. So she got a kids cookbook and we found a pancake recipe. Which is all fine and dandy, but we decided to modify it. We added in chocolate chips and marshmallows. And we added blue and green food colouring. I don't remember if it tasted well or not - I just remembered making them. We had round ones and then one shaped like an H for me and one shaped like an S for her.

Once we wanted to roast hotdogs over a fire but her mom wisely said we weren't allowed to start a fire in her backyard. So we improvised. We took the element off the gas stove and turned it on. And then proceeded to roast the hotdogs over that little flame.

If there was anyone I wanted to be when I was a kid it was my cousin Shay. I even wrote a speech about her in the fifth grade. She's just that awesome.

We live on opposite ends of the province now. However I have the opportunity to be that awesome older cousin to my little five year old cousin Adam. I swear that boy smile sunshine he's so darn cute. I'm sorry if you think your little cousin is cute, I will have to disagree. Adam is by far the cutest. That's just the truth.

This is a store bought cookie. Not homemade

We bake cookies, me and Adam. And we play with play dough, and watch Air Bud movies and play cars. But mainly we make cookies. It started out with sugar cookies when he was four. I really wasn't expecting him to stay interested for too long. It was a simple sugar cookie. I got the ingredients measured out and he poured them in. He did the mixing, I rolled out the dough, he cut the cookies. He was interested the entire time, and plastered himself to the fridge when I told him to stay away from the open oven. He left long enough to run into the living room and tell his mom and dad and my dad that he had a cookie for each of them.

The next time we made banana chocolate chip cookies. Seriously so good. You should try it. Go find a fun little cousin or sibling or only child friend and make banana chocolate chip cookies with them. Unless they are allergic to banana's then make a different cookie with them.

Then this summer, me and my dad were babysitting him and he asked if we could make cookies. How could I turn that down? So over dinner we plotted what kind of cookies we would make. After much deliberation and talking we decided to make M&M craisen oatmeal cookies. If you haven't guessed we take risks with our cookies. Let me tell you they were good.

But my favourite thing about the last set of making cookies was as we were buying the M&Ms and craisens was he looked up at me and went "Hollie, I know you love me cause you let me make cookies with you." I'm sure I melted into a puddle after that.

Have you ever been loved by someone, simply because they love you? I would say I have. If you asked me when I was a kid if Shay loved me and how did I know. I would say she did because she let me jump on the tramp with her, and have sleep overs, and make funny algae green pancakes with marshmallows and chocolate chips in it.

God loves me. "Hollie, how do you know?" you ask. Simple really. Complex and simple. Its little things. The other day I saw this stunning gorgeous breath taking sunrise. I'm slightly annoyed that I don't have a picture to show you. I was at work - in drive-thru taking orders, facing the rise. So I didn't have a camera or my iPod. And all my friends either didn't think of it, or couldn't get to their camera's. But my was it stunning. I wish you could have seen it.

"But Hollie, how does that show God loves you?" Well normally I'm not taking orders in drive-thru, I'm inside away from the window. It just so happens the ONE day that I'm that booth is the day there is that breath taking sunrise. And that I worked at 6am so I got to watch it rise at 7:30. I don't believe in coincidences and accidents.

I know He loves me for the same reason I knew Shay loved me, and that Adam knows I love him. Time spent. God doesn't say "Sorry Hollie, I'm too busy helping this person over here to have a nice conversation with you. I'm sorry but you'll just have to wait."

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrated His own love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

I don't think I need much more proof then that.

Now seriously - go make cookies with some little kid.

Hollie