Jun 13, 2012

Gumbo

So I do an don't have internet again. We have wifi at my house, but my computer won't connect to it :( so I'm still scrounging around to use other peoples computers or dragging my computer places - which isn't fun and a lot of work so I mainly just wait until I have a chance too.

I was actually going to blog this weekend. I got onto the website, opened up a fresh blog sheet and drew a blank. Which is so weird, I've had so many blog post ideas but right then - nothing. Maybe it was just that all the idea's had been happening for a while that it didn't seem 'fresh' to me. Or I could just be procrastinating. But more to the matter I am here now and posting! Yay!

Now to what I'm blogging on. Nothing exceedingly epic has happened over these last few months. I'm still single, all of my single friends are still single, and all my friends that were dating are still dating. Work is still work, although on the upside of that I get to be on a McDs "Street Team" which helps out at fun events around town. Pretty stoked about it.

Right, blogging.

So, there are a few things going on right now that are real "eeeer, eeee, ahhh," tensities for me, which of course God is going "Just trust Me" and they range from ridiculously shallow to annoyances to full on lip biting butterflies. Them being, my hair (ridiculously shallow), my job (annoyances), and my story (lip biting butterflies).

We'll start off with the ridiculously shallow. I am growing out my hair. And I'm sure you're wondering why this is an "eeeeer, eeee, aahhh" thing that really requires me to trust God. I'll get there.

So for the longest time I had long hair. As a kid I had long hair, and it was pretty. Then around grade 4 my mom cut it, and it was short until around grade 8 when I decided to just grow it out. I only got it really cut a few times, mainly to my shoulder or something. But I was gonna grow it out. I had also decided that I wasn't going to cut my bangs until they were the same length as the rest of my hair (horrible right?) and I didn't get it trimmed that often. So needless to say I hadabsolutely goshdarn awful hair! And again, then came interns, and I decided one day to just chop it short. The first time I did, it looked kinda silly. But then I went back around Christmas and cut it shorter and it looked nice. Since then I've learned how to style short hair, I've learned how to wear short hair, I've learned what earrings to match with short hair. I know the lengths I like, and I know what looks good.

But I noticed how nice the hair looked on people who had really nice long hair. And then I was debating it, I mean if i kept it nice this time maybe it would look nice. Long story short, I was talking to a girl at work about it (who is also a hairdresser, and is now my hairdresser) and she said to grow it, and so many friends were too. And even God was saying to grow it.

How is me growing out my hair trusting God? Well like I said I know I look good with short hair. I know how to wear it. And the last time I had long hair I kinda failed at it. So its a matter of trust that long hair will look good too. (Which, if your wondering, is very big when your a girl)

And then, my job. Oh my job. I love my job. I really do. Even on the days that I hate it, I love it. And so far every time I have seriously entertained the idea of quitting God tells me "No" and it sucks cause I really want to quit, but then I stay and suddenly I love my job even more. But right now is weird, in that I love it, but at the same time I'm watching so many people get promoted, and I'm not. So of course I go and whine to God about it (bad idea, just saying).

How I am trusting God with me job: maybe I'm not getting bumped up because I need to be where I am. Maybe being bumped up will give me less time to do what He plans, or it will get in the way of what/where I need to be (like that awful booth sometimes. I hate that booth, but I love my regular D/T customers) Also He put me on the Street Team, so I get to go and participate in a lot of fun other events with my job. And really, I'm not exactly great at handling stress, which a promotion would bring so - Trusting God that He really knows what I can handle and He is in charge of my job.

And finally my story. Without giving away too many details right now, I actually succeeded in FINISHING a story. Not just starting to write one mind you, finishing one. And the whole thing with the story is I had had the idea for a while, but my writers insecurities rose up and said "You can't write that. You don't know anything about it. You're not a mom. You've never been faced with this. What makes you think you can write this?" So I was going to wait until I was older and "more experienced" to write it. But then one night at a prayer group some friends and I go to on Wednesdays God really said "Do it!" So I told some of the other girls there about it so they would make sure I actually wrote it, cause I wouldn't other wise.

And they were good friends about it too. They would text me to make sure I'm writing. Ask how it was going. You know all that cool stuff. And then I finished it. And then I edited it. But then it was time to expand it. So I got some of my story accountability friends to edit it, so it became more and more polished. And then I handed it off to someone a little older then me to edit it. And finally right now its with my awesome friend Bonnie.

But the thing is, is what do I do next? God didn't just tell me to write a story because He thought I looked bored and needed something to do. So for sure I'm going to talk to my paster and get his approval on it. But after that I really don't know whats going to happen with it. I don't know where it's going to go. How its going to go there.

And God has brought me this far, so He must have something planned for it. And its exciting. And its nerve-wracking because I like having all my ducks in a row. And I don't know whats going to happen with it at all. But I'll keep you posted.

Oh and PS - about the puddle jumping photo's. I just went puddle jumping the other day and it brought to mind a picture of "running the race." Because I had to hunt for those puddles. There weren't any at my house, so I had to go out of my way to puddle jump. Following Jesus will take you "out of your way." When I got there I had to be willing to look foolish. Because there I was, a twenty year old, jumping and splashing around in puddles, which is something only "little kids do". Sometimes God calls us to do the things that look kinda silly to everyone else. But we do them anyways. And then I got messy. You don't stay dry and clean and your clothes don't stay the same as you jump in puddles. Now yes God does clean you, but it caught my attention in a Miss Frizzle sort of way: "You gotta take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!" which is so true.

I was so soaked when I was done but it was so much fun
Anyways, thanks for still reading my sporadicalness

Hollie :D