The Province of Vancouver

Would you believe that over these last few *ahem* five *ahem* months I've had a gazillion and some blog post ideas. Everything from nuclear bombs (February Netflix-athon) to ranting about people not responding to Facebook Event Invites (this morning). However my computer over heats if the room window is shut, and with the window open my room gets cold.

I'm also very good at procrastinating and making excuses.

Anywho today I am going to blow your mind with crazy crazy revelation. Are you ready? Are you sure? This might actually blow your thinking thing. OK ready? Strap on your seat belt. OK here it is:

The province of British Columbia is more then just the city of Vancouver!

Shocking right?!?!

Okay to be fair its more like, the province of BC is actually more then the Lower Mainland.

What brought on this you ask? Well today I was reading a Facebook thing "You Might be from British Columbia If" and 11 of  the 34 items were Vancouver and Lower Mainland related. 6 items could be used to anywhere in Canada and maybe maybe 3 items that I would actually say are BC wide. And before you point out that I live near Vancouver and so can't justifiably point out what it is like in the rest of BC I shall counter that and point out that I have lived in Northern BC, the Interior of BC and the Lower Mainland. I think I classify as qualified.

I remember as a child not being able to play on the playground at school over winter because there was so much snow that the playground was not accessible. Or my favourite memory was I had this round sled that kinda looked like a trashcan lid, and my Dad drilled a hole in it put a rope through it and tied it to our German Sheppard. And then with me on the sled, Dad and the dog went running. It was so much fun until we went around a corner too fast and I lost my grip on the handles, went flying and hit a house. I remember snowball fights being forbidden at school because there might be ice in the snowball that could cause an injury.

Speaking of which one difference between all of BC and the soaked coast of BC takes place at recess. So as a child recess and lunch break was always outside with only two exceptions

1) The temperature was -20* Celsius BEFORE the windchill
2) It was raining

Now in the Lower Mainland having an inside recess because it is raining would be a little impractical and not to mention improbable. But the LM also has two exceptions for outside recess

1) The temperature is too cold. I don't know the exact temperature because I was in high school by then but I think it's somewhere around -5* Celsius
2) Its snowing

Very very different and yet both inexplicably both BC.

I would say the perks of some of the rest of BC would be:

• Thunderstorms
• Northern Lights
• White Christmas. Every. Year.
• Hot hot summers
• Its actually dark out for Halloween
• Snow (I cannot believe I just said that. I hate snow. I really do. Kind of. I don't actually know, I'm kinda on the fence about snow right now)

The perks of the Lower Mainland BC would be:

• It doesn't get cold in the winter really
• Puddle jumping (if you're cool like that)
• Spring conceivably starts early
• No snow (except that's not a perk in December around Christmas)
• Two international airports for easy traveling
• Because of the excess rain the flowers here are abundant and beautiful

See both Real BC and perceived BC are beautiful and unique. And seeing as there is no end to the wrong perception of our beautiful province I propose that we split BC. So all the parts of BC that are actually like Canada will stay the Province of British Columbia. And then the Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island will the the Province of Vancouver, to end the confusion.

Hailey :)

PS: I was joking. We should not split BC up. Don't do it!

I Brought You Into the World...

So over this Christmas-ish season I have been getting some of the most random thoughts. Usually beginning with "When I'm a Mom..." or "I could see myself doing this when I'm a Mom..." or "Imagine when I'll be doing this with my kids..." and better yet "I'll need to learn that for when I'm a Mom..." Most of these catch me by surprise because, well, I am not that close to becoming a Mom. In fact, I'm kinda far away from that worthy calling at the moment - you know, being single and all.

It all started while I was re-reading The Hobbit in preparation for the *then* upcoming movie. I was maybe half a chapter in and this thought drifted across me mind "One day I'll be reading this as a bed time story to my children." I could almost see it too, a little child tucked away in a bed, me sitting next to her pillow and reading in my best voices "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." And quickly this thought was squished with a panicked thought of when does one introduce their children to such elaborate fantasy worlds. When is it too much for their little minds to handle. When is that magically threshold between "too scary" and "too boring" (although I don't see the Hobbit becoming boring ever). Will I give them nightmares? Thankfully this was soon overtaken with the logic half of my brain going "Really? Really? Hailey, you don't even have a boyfriend yet, let alone children. Stop panicking!" Thanks Logic Hailey :D So I went back to reading.

Or once I was driving with my dad and we had to drop someone off somewhere and I thought "One day I'll be dropping my kids off at their friends house's" And so many weird and little thoughts.
I have a few idea's of how I want to raise my children one day. Now, of course, I realize that there will eventually be a whole other person I need to add into this equation; and his ideals of how children should be raise - but frankly that is why we are picky when looking for the other half of the equation. But until I have another half of the equation this is what I am thinking:

As a creative person myself, creativity is something I want to foster and encourage in my children. I tell people all the time my children will be raise on a healthy does of books and outside. When they ask a question I want to hear what they think the answer is first before giving them the real "scientific and actual answer." Like in the Lion King when Timon thought stars were "firefly's caught up in that big blueish black thing." I want them to create elaborate (or simplistic) make-believe worlds where they are off rescuing the princess or exploring the second moon of Pluto or whatever they come up with
.

Raised on a healthy does
of books and outside

One of my favourite ideas is to have a Scribble Wall. Basically it will be ONE wall in the house that will have a box of wax crayons, pencil crayons, markers and chalk by it (and as they get older I will add paint and different items to paint with). They are allowed to use those items to scribble, colour, and draw on that one wall with - and not get in trouble for doing so. But of course it will be explained (probably multiple times) that the other walls are not to be drawn on - and there will be consequences for doing so. People seem to think its an interesting idea and even go off on how cool chalkboard paint is. Until, of course, I mention that I don't want to use chalkboard paint as their background to colour on - that makes it seem safe. Creativity is hardly every safe. Then they look at me like I'm weird. And even try to discourage it.

Who knows. When I'm a mom I might scrap that idea all together (though I do hope not).

I also don't want them to be trapped by gender stereotypes. I know that boys will be more likely to be wild, and girls more likely to want to play house. And I do want them to grow up with Biblical principles - I don't agrue those. However I want all my children, the boys AND the girls to know how to change their own car tires, and to know its okay to be good at sports (or if they inherit my genes, its okay to not be good at sports) and that science is fun and they can be an engineer if they want. On the flip side I want ALL of them to know how to cook, and clean and that wanting to take ballet (if your a boy) doesn't mean your gay, and to dream of the future.

 Also I want to teach them that if the girls make dinner the boys are cleaning up after dinner and vis versa. That's something I have been noticing lately that bothers the living daylights out of me. I will be in a large group of multiple families (where the kids are around my age or a little younger) where the guys will be in the living room talking mantalk, and the girls will be in the kitchen getting dinner ready (okay cool - so far so good) and then we sit down and have dinner. Then dinner is over and the guys go back to the living room (either by choice or they are sent by the ladies) and the ladies do the dishes. NO! It bothers me.I don't know why, it just does. If the girls made the dinner the guys can clean up. If the guys made the dinner then the girls should clean up. Its called sharing!
I shall end my rant there ;)

I also have a list of things I will NOT do to my children. And these are non-negotiable.

1. I will never tell my children that I hate them, don't like them, or that they are worthless
2. I will not tell them that all of their bad traits come from their father. "Geesh child, you're such a slob - must get that from your father" is something I don't want them to hear.
3. Speaking of which I won't play the 'my child/your child/our child' card. I heard this one a lot growing up. When my mom was mad at my dad and I did something amazingly well I was (conversationally speaking) "her child"as if my dad had no part of me growing up. At any point when I did something wrong and my mom would tell my dad I was "his child" like she had no ownership in me, and it was his fault I was a screw up. And when she wasn't mad at him and I did something really good I was "their child." It was actually a very confusing thing to experience as a child and did nothing for my own self worth. My children will know that no matter what they do they will be "our children" to me and my husband.
4. Still on that topic, I won't insult their father in front of them (and if I do slip up I will apologize)
5. I don't ever want to tell them that they shouldn't be crying. If something upsets them then they have a reason to cry.
6. I never want to throw their dreams back in their face. Its something I heard a lot growing up "If you don't do this, you'll never get into med school." "You think you'll get into med school? You can't even eat properly" and its something I still face today "And you want six kids?" "Do you really think you'll survive with six kids?" It is always said with a disgusted and disbelieving tone. I don't want to risk their dreams to correct or break my children.
7. I will never ever ever ever ever EVER tell my children "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it!" I've been talking to a bunch of people who heard this growing up (I did too) and it doesn't seem very loving. It makes it sound like the child owes the parent something. It sounds like conditional tollerance not uncondintional love. And, as my wise married friend Bonnie says "Just because you gave birth to someone does not give you the right to murder them."

And there it is. The dreams I have for my children one day. I do find my self freaking out a lot, like I did when reading the Hobbit and fear that I'm gonna mess them up. That I'm gonna miss major milestones, that they're gonna be set back in life and its gonna be ALL MY FAULT! Then I have to rememind myself that 1) I'm still a ways off from having children. And 2) there will be a whole other person involved to help and that is so much BIGGER then all of my faults and failures. Which is very comforting.

Hailey :)

Crescendo

Oh my goodness! Two blog posts in one year! What is the world coming too? I-I mean HI! How are you? I've missed you. We are changing. Me. I am changing. And the blog (like the new layout?). For example, "Hi, I'm Hailey, not Hollie" (no Hailey is not Hollie's twin, Hailey has not locked Hollie in the cellar and is not taking over her blog. Hailey and Hollie are the same person.) I was talking with that married friend of mine who also blogs the other day and she kinda said "You know, you need to start using your own name" And she's right. So ya. I'm Hailey.

Anyways.

So yesterday I was getting ready for the Young Adults group I go to every Wednesday. Which involves the usual, you know picking an outfit, doing my hair and make-up. Probably changing my hair or outfit, or both, depending on how I'm feeling. You know, like a girl. And I'm lucky to have a full length mirror in my room. Cause I'm short, so standing in front of the bathroom mirror just doesn't work when you see maybe rib cage up, (more like shoulders and up). So anyway, I had turned to get something, and from the corner of my eye I saw my reflection and I was caught by a weird awesome strange thought.

Holy moly I'm skinny!

I know. Such a weird thought for a girl to have. Not "uhg, I'm fat." No "ew, that's ugly." Nope. "holy moly I'm skinny." And I'm sure such a comment for those of you who know me would be "Well no duh! Look at you!" I'm sure that people around me probably could have told me I was skinny until they were blue in the face before yesterday, and I would have thanked them, smiled a little and gone on my way not really believing them. People have told me this. Well, they tell me that I'm tiny. Which in my head translates into height-wise more then waist-wise. In my head I'm not that tiny. In my head I'm a little pudgy for my height. My head tells me that I have a little bit of belly that I could lose. My head tells me a LIE!

And what is weird is that the mirror, the MIRROR, the greatest frienemy a girl will ever have, the mirror. The mirror is what was telling me the truth. Man, God uses things creatively. Lately though, I'll be honest, me and the way I think keep getting "beauty slapped." Every time I look in a mirror its like God goes "See, aren't you beautiful?" But I'm a girl, so I have a hard time believing it. I have to fight to believe it.

What does me being a girl have to do with it? Well, EVERYTHING. Ladies, woman, girls, we were created

Like my drawing skills?

to be beautiful. From the top of our head to the tips of our toes, God created us to be beautiful. So, of course, Satan attacks that. Quite efficiently. I have yet to meet a lady who doesn't have at least one (at least six?) things about herself she doesn't like. Put her in front of a mirror at ask her what is ugly or what she hates or what she wishes to change and she could do it. Easily. Maybe not out loud but she could do it. It's hardwired into us. Part of the fallen sinful world and nature we live in.

And the stupid thing is, is it doesn't matter how self confident she truly is. Doesn't matter how sure of her identity in God she is. It doesn't matter how much revelation of her own beauty she has. There will be seconds, minutes, moments, days where her beauty is under attack. And that is what it is, an attack. An attack that tells her she is ugly, and not worth it, and no one will ever think she is pity. And that is a lie from the pit of  hell, and I hate it. Satan knows where to hit, and hits hard. Because if you start to doubt one part of who you are, of who God created you to be, you start to doubt all of it.

Do you know God said during creation?

Well, when He created light God saw that the light was good (Genesis 1:4)

When He separated the land from the seas God saw that it was good (Genesis 1:10)

When He created plants God saw that it was good (Genesis 1:12)

When He created the sun and the moon and the stars God saw that it was good (Genesis 1:18)

When He created the sea animals God saw that it was good (Genesis 1:21)

When He created land animals God saw that it was good (Genesis 1:25)

When He created just man He said "It is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18)

But after He had created both man and woman He "saw all He had made, and behold, it was very good" (Genesis 1:31)

Do you notice He didn't say it was very good until after He was done. And right before He was almost done, when He had only one final piece of creation left He said it was not good. See, God created woman. He created their beauty. And it was very good.

I guess the best way I can describe it is to not use my own words because I don't fully understand it yet either, let be able to find words for it. But I was reading in a book called "Captivating" and I think this explains it best. I thought about not sharing it because, honestly, its sometimes seems self serving. As if thinking I could be, as if woman could be, beautiful is self serving. Yet it is what God planned. So this excerpt is from the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. Its in Chapter Two, but I don't have a page number for you because I have this on my e-reader and e-reader's (at least this one) doesn't have page numbers.

He (Adam) is...magnificent. Truly, the masterpiece seems complete. And yet, the Master says that something is not good. Not right. Something is missing...and that something is Eve

She is the crescendo, the final astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the Masters finishing touch

(skip a bit)

Eve is...breathtaking.

Given the way creating unfolds, how it builds to ever higher and higher works of art, can there be any doubt that Eve is the crown of creation? Not an afterthought.

So see ladies. God created us to be beautiful. So, on those days when you don't feel pretty. When your hair is a mess, your face resembles the rocky mountains more then the prairies, and you just feel bloated, remember that God made you beautiful and you are worth more then the numbers on the scale and the size of your waist. If you have a hard time believing that, I challenge you, every time you look in the mirror say 3 good things about yourself. About your looks, about your personality. About you. But they have to be positive.

For example: (these are actually some of mine)

1) I have really pretty eyes (NOT I have really pretty eyes but my eyebrows need some help)

2) I have a good sense of style (NOT I have a good sense of style but I need a better body for it)

3) My hair looks really nice today (NOT My hair looks really nice today but have you seen all those pimples?)

JUST the positives. No ifs ands or buts about it.

So ya. That's what I've been thinking about lately. But if you'll excuse me, I must find this speaker that turned itself on and is making this unfortunate 'whoop whoop whoop' noise before my sanity goes skipping out the window.

Hailey (who honestly does not have Hollie locked away in the cellar. Or attic)

PS, for a more thought out discussion of beauty, creation, sexuality and all that good stuff, visit my friend Bonnie's blog, The Original Plan at http://theoriginalplan.blogspot.ca/ thanks :)