hurt as much next time. It means I will improve and be better next time. It's 'good' even if it doesn't feel so good.Lots of good pain doesn't really feel good at the time. Like confrontations. Confrontations were a big thing for me in Interns. I'm pretty sure I had at least once, if not more, a month. A confrontation is basically a conversation where you're bad attitude is brought to your attention and the possible consequences for it are shown. ie: always shooting down people's ideas and thoughts may led them to not telling you anything - ever. And then you are given the opportunity to change that. You don't necessarily have to change it, but if you don't chances are you will get another Confrontation.
I'll be honest, I hated confrontations. I still don't like getting them. But at the same time I hate crunches and yet I still do them. Both confrontations and crunches hurt while they are happening, and for a bit after words too. And neither gets easier with time.
The reason I didn't like them is that you are sitting there as your own personal personality filth is brought to your attention. It's as if you haven't changed your cat litter for two weeks or so - you learn not to smell it (gross). However a guest would notice it right away. And they would probably even draw it to your attention. Then you'd have to change it. And that would be gross, it would almost be easier to pretend the cat litter doesn't smell than to change it.
Same with a stinky attitude. You live with it, so you don't notice. Suddenly someone else brings it to your attention. You probably were fine with your attitude and don't want to change it. You don't want to change it cause it stinks and makes you want to gag. But you have to (in theory - but please please do so)
And not only in confrontations was my own personality smelly hiccups (burps?) brought to attention but there was a small matter of pride that should be mentioned. No one, least of all myself, likes to be told they are
less than perfect.
Or less than good enough.
Or even less than passable.
I know I'm not perfect. I knew then I was not perfect. However I did think that I was just as good as the next person and thereby didn't really need to change (after all they didn't have to change). However everyone has to change. I had to have confrontations. And I had to change. That didn't mean I had to like it.
Now however, I see the benefit of all those confrontations. Cause yes it was PC and KS and S doing the confrontations. But really it was God working threw them. Why you ask? It's discipline really. Love at the core of it. Hebrews 12:5-8:
And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:
"My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives."
If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.
And also it was PC KS and S showing they cared. Proverbs 27:17:
As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
So while at the time it hurt. And it stunk. And I really hated it. Now I can look back at all the good it has done for me. I like people more. I'm sure people can actually handle being around me more. I don't fly off the handle and lose my temper as much. Really I'm just an all around better (but still not perfect) person then I was before all those meetings.
Now if these squats, crunches and such could do the same we'd be set.
Hollie.
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