So anyways awhile back now, probably around January or earlier I was thinking about weddings and marriage, cause I'm a girl, and that's just what we do. And I was thinking, there are some weddings that are nice and pretty and the bride looks lovely and the groom looks dashing and everyone raves about it but in a year or so its kinda forgotten. And then there are some weddings that just had that little something extra and even five, ten, twenty years down the road people still remember that wedding. And I thought "I want a wedding that everyone will remember." I wanted the fairy tale wedding that everyone remembers and everyone cried at and was just you know - fairy tale-like. And I was sitting there thinking God hit me with this thought
Are you willing to go through the fairy tale process to get that fairy tale wedding?
I mean, just think about it. Snow White DIED before she met her prince. Cinderella was a slave. Sleeping Beauty was cursed and slept for a 100 years. Rapunzel was locked away in a tower, and when her prince came he was blinded by the witch. I could go on. All of them had something crazy, something stupid, something crazy stupid crazy happen to them before they met their prince, or after they met their prince. But all before they could marry their prince. That's what made their weddings memorable. I mean, if Snow White had met her prince, and was married the next day with the evil Queen's blessing would you really remember the story? Ya, me neither.
Well, I told God I was willing. And slowly things started changing. First, God gave me a new set of rules. Now please, please don't run away now. These were good rules. Rules for me. Rules that will keep my heart safe and happy and whole. And really it was one rule. And the rule was, I wasn't allowed to tell ANYONE that I liked someone. Or who I liked. Or that I was thinking I might possibly potentially in the smallest slightest way be liking someone. And the reason behind it was quiet simple too.
For one once you tell your girl friends that you like someone EVERYTHING you do has a double meaning or a double motive or a double anything in their eyes, even if you don't intend that. That's just kinda the way it is. And so if you tell someone that you might think that you possibly potentially in the smallest slightest way like someone and they think everything you do is because you like that other person you start to wonder if you really do like them, and it just messes with your heart. Or at least it does to mine.
And for the other, as a married friend of mine explained, if you say you like someone to a bunch of girls the automatic response for the other person is to either step back from their friendship with the guy (because they don't want you to feel threatened) or to "go after" the guy more aggressively.
I was given a list of three, thats it THREE, people I was allowed to tell when I liked someone.
1) My dad, cause he's my dad.
2) An older than me lady (I can't call her older, that makes her sound like she's retired) who I am close to, who is full of wisdom.
3) That married friend of mine that is mentioned above, because she spends a lot of time researching relationships. And how they effect people. And what purity really means. And everything like that. She looks to see what God says about all of that.
And then slowly God has been working with me on flirting. And what actually is flirting and what is actually okay to do. Remarkably it hasn't actually been that hard to step back from most of it. Though sometimes God has to point it out two or three times before I clue in.
And all of this has led to what we started talking about at the beginning of the post. What happened today?
Well, at the Young Adults group I go to we actually just started a series on relationships and its been pretty good. We spent one night talking about guys, one night about girls, and now one night on what it means to be single. And my mind started to wander to purity rings - which had absolutely NOTHING to do with any of those nights. And I started to want one. Just because my heart had been changing so much, a little symbol of that would be nice.
So I looked, and I found one that I liked, within my price range and everything. But I had to wait until payday (today) to get it. And then I started to think. (I think a lot). And I started to realize that if this was just a ring that I wore on my finger all the time there would really be no value to it. I really could just use one of my other rings. Why did I need to buy one? What was the commitment? So I decided to write a promise with the purity ring. That's right, I wrote vows. To myself. I wrote them, and then I prayed them before I actually put on the ring. Yep. I did.
And I'm gonna write them on here too, so you can read them. Not so that you have to pray it before you wear a purity ring. But so that you know what I am doing. And my heart behind this.
With this ring I so promise to not view every man my age as a "potential one." I promise not to flirt, encourage flirting, or to tease in a leading kind of way. I promise to encourage, cheer on, and honour my brothers - as their sister. I promise also to dress in a way that is not provocative or stumbling.I promise to go to the Lord to fill my heart, not other people - guys or friends. To strengthen and work on that relationship and trust that He will fill the aches and longings that my little heart holds.
I promise to pray for the one God will send me. The one who will replace this ring - but never God. I will pray that God strengthens him, protects him, and loves him in ways even I will not. I will pray for the future we will have. I will pray FOR him, not make an idol FROM him.
I promise to remain pure in my heart and soul, not just in my outer shell alone.
Hollie
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