Hehe, so it's been a while since I've posted yes. I've been busy. Out of town, went to the states, my mom is living at my house. That would be the main reason I haven't been as faithful to my blogging as I should, I can't seem to get to the computer as often as I would like. But I am here now, posting now and fingers crossed I'll be posting again soon. -> Who knew what a commitment this would be. Seriously who needs a boyfriend, blogging takes up enough of my time ;)
It's funny but right now I kind of want to jump ahead and say all the amazing things that are going on in my life right now instead of jumping into the past. I said I wouldn't and I won't really - much. By the end of this I will be back on track, I promise. But then again, I can't really say what is going on right now because I haven't gotten to the beginning of what it was. Is. The beginning of what it is. Kinda frustrating I must say. So, I won't be staying in now, I'm sorry. Please buckle your seat belts as we once again jump into the past. I promise the better stuff is coming.
So I left off, in case you were wondering and even if you weren't, with me leaving to go visit my grandparents and my dad in the summer between grades five and six. So the original plan was spend a week with Grandma and Grandpa, spend a week with my Dad, go home. Plans changed. I started off a week with my daddy. That was fun I'm sure. I always had good times with my Dad. He wasn't one to yell or scream. And then I spent a week with my grandparents in Alberta.
It was supposed to be one week. But as any ten almost eleven year-old would do, I talked. I talked and I talked and I talked. And when on the phone with my mom, my grandma heard other things about how life with mom and Dean really was and it was decided. It was decided that I would be staying in Alberta and not going back to Ontario. Grandma and Grandpa gave Mom an option, either she came to Alberta, without Dean, or she wouldn't get to see me again. And for the first time in, well, in pretty much my entire life it seemed, she picked me over Dean. But she couldn't get out to Alberta. So, my Grandma and Grandpa decided they would go get her in October.
I started grade 6 in Alberta, which means I also started School 7. Until my mom came I lived with my Cousin Karen, her boyfriend, and every other week her boyfriend's two boys. I would live with them except for on Wednesday nights and weekends when I would stay at my grandparents so I could call my mom. I lived with Karen and family because they were closer to School 7. That was were I met Rachel. Rachel became my best friend.
Rachel believed in ghosts. I didn't. But she did so I did. And then eventually, of course I believed in ghosts. Why wouldn't I? But not only did Rachel and I believe we could see ghosts but we believed we could talk to them, communicate with them and fight them. Because most of these ghosts were evil and were trying to kill us, we decided. Again looking back I'm not sure if this was just some game for her (like my friends in grade 5 pretending we were going to a Canadian version of Hogwarts) or not, but I really believed it was real. And if you think of it, just substitute ghost for spirits (as I'm sure I would have eventually) and voila! I was heading down a New Age path.
It made sense to me. To live in this world of ghosts that I could kill (kill a ghost... the eleven/twelve year old me didn't quite realize you can't kill the dead or unliving but still....) cause I did have an imagination and fantasy was so much better then reality. During grade 6 Mom's second live-in-Internet boyfriend Aaron came and went. And things with him there were bad, and things with him gone were bad. With this baby step New Age stuff I was free to do whatever.
At the end of grade 6 I moved schools again. But this time because I had finished elementary school and was now in middle school. So I started grade 7 and School 8. I stopped talking with Rachel because we went to different schools now - and my mom decided she didn't like Rachel. In grade 7 it wasn't as bad as I was told it would be. I had a group of friends pretty much right away and what a strange bunch we were. I think there was five of us girls who all believed in ghosts and we believed our schools girl locker room was haunted and we were going to get to the bottom of it. We would say little "prayer" like spells before going in because it would protect us and such.
So I decided I would become a witch. A real one mind, not some fake Harry Potter wannabe. But a real witch. So one night I managed to wrestle the computer away from my mom (she was in bed) and I googled (yay for google!!!!) "How to be a witch" No really I did. I found one sight that sounded legit to my twelve year old mind (cause you know you know everything at the age of twelve). The only problem being was that it would cost $60 a month. I was twelve. I didn't have $60 period let alone enough money to pay $60 every month. And I was too much of a goody-goody and to scared to set up a fake account. So that ended my outwards searching to become a witch. But I'm sure, if I had stayed in Alberta I would have eventually succeeded.
I did not finish grad 7 in School 8. In February of that year my Dad, who lived a short Greyhound bus trip away invited me up for a visit over a long weekend. I said sure (anything to get away from home) and while I was there I begged him not to make me go home. So he didn't. He even told my mom because I was to afraid to tell her. She was extremely displeased. That's putting it lightly. If putting it lightly is like saying the sun is slightly toasty.
So started School 9. People there didn't believe in ghosts or spirits or saying spells to protect you. Or at least none that I knew of. So I stopped - but again it was more outward then inward. I truly truly was a people pleaser. And then in the summer between grade 7 and 8 (oh School 9 was an elementary school that only went to grade 7) something very random happened. I remembered going to Sunday School as a kid with my Dad and going to church with Carol in Ontario.
I wanted to go to church.
I told my dad as such and so we went to church, the Sunday before my 13th birthday. I ended up sitting next to this little old lady. And because I knew it would make her happy, like I said I was a people pleaser to the core, at the end of the service I responded to the alter call. Ta-da. Christian.
Dysfunctional or what?
Hollie.
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