Hey look, another posts in only a few day :O I know you're all in shock and awe. I take no responsibility for the outcomes of your shock. Just saying.
I'm kinda tired, which means I'm slightly cynical. I'm gonna try my best to be super positive - or at least positive. Even then apparently I'm good at faking it. For example today I was super nauseous at work, and when my manager finally saw me (I work in a drive-thru) she asked what was wrong, I told her, and she asked if I could last another forty-five minutes (I was off then) and I said "Sure I've been lasting for six hours and fifteen minutes now" and she was shocked cause I sounded so upbeat on the headset (I thought I had sounded dead and in pain, but maybe that's just cause that was how I felt)
Anyway, back to where we were.
I had become a "Christian" (heavy sarcastic quotations) to make some little old lady happy. How utterly like me. Anyways, it wasn't really a heart changing commitment. My life went on as normal. I'm pretty sure I went home and watched a Harry Potter movie that day. Or soon after. I hardly read my Bible (in fact I found it kinda boring and would want to fall asleep). School started up again. Grade 8, first year of High School in that town so I was now in School 10. If I may - it was the worst year of school EVER.
See I was used to being the new kid. And the strange quiet new kid at that. Until now I had been okay at making friends. Not a master of it. In fact usually I changed how I acted to make friends. But at that school I was a fresh water fish in the salty salty ocean. It didn't help either, that my mom pulled me out of school for a month to go visit her in Ontario (she had moved away from Alberta to go live with live-in-Internet-boyfriend#3 Bryce) which was just like living with her all over again. But I come back to school, almost failed the first semester of grade 8 (not unusual but my mom was super angry that I almost failed. My fault of course). Right sorry, I promised not to be cynical.
In order to save time I'll sum up grade 8. I didn't really make a friend until after Christmas. I spent every lunch hour in the library (you could eat there as long as you didn't take your food to the books or the books to a table with food and if the food didn't smell bad) and I read a lot of books. We lived just out of town in an old house with no neighbours, no cable and no computer. I watched a lot of movies or we rented a TV series season from the video store. A girl spat in my hair once and put gum in my hair twice. She made fun of me for pretty much everything. It was too the point I was ready to go to a different school. Only there was no other school to go to. I think she was kicked out for the rest of the year. And then suddenly all of her friends were super nice to me and hating her. Honestly I don't think I will ever understand that. Grade eight was when I really developed a love for writing. In grade seven I had started writing, but grade eight was when it really took off in my mind.
The church I went to was really fun. It was a Pentecostal church - so different from the Mennonite church we went to with my Oma (grandma) and even different from the Catholic church I went to in Ontario. I loved it, but I didn't grow much. Not that it was that churches fault. They tried to help me, they really did. But I didn't really trust people, and I was super shy (or maybe nervous and hesitant is a better description) I did change slightly I'm sure but looking back I can't say how much. I remember trying to be this good Christian girl that was expected of me, and trying to fit that into my desire to have magic. I knew I couldn't have magic now, it was a big 'no-no' in the Bible, but I still wanted it in some way. I tried to write stories where the main character used to be a witch but now wasn't allowed to use magic. Or things like that. I'm sure some of my leaders at church weren't too thrilled whenever I told them of my stories. Like I said, they were trying to help me. They really were. I just wasn't open to it.
It was an awesome church though. I cried when we left it to move here. Back were I was born actually. My dad had a job offer with his brother in construction. We left pretty much as soon as my grade 8 exams were over.
We berried my Grandma (not Oma) that year. She had died when I was twelve and was cremated but my Grandpa couldn't (or wouldn't I don't know) barry her until then. I was registered to go to the nearest public high school (in this town high school started in grade 9 so I was starting my first year of high school for a second time) as our town has five public high schools, a traditional school (elementary, middle and high) a Catholic schools (elementary, middle, and high) and a Mennonite school (E, M, H as well). Anyway I was registered for one of the public schools but I really wanted to go tot the Mennonite school. The only problem was it was too expensive for a single father with a construction job to pay for. However at my Grandma's funeral one of my great-aunts, upon learning where I wanted to go offered to pay for me to go to the school I wanted. So I was removed from one school and put into the Mennonite one (this was all before the school year started though so it's all good)
We had also tried to find a church here. First we went to the Pentecostal church but I didn't like it. So instead of trying church after church we just went back to my Oma's Mennonite church. Which I had always thought was boring, and my view of it hadn't really changed much.
Such is life I guess.
I hope I wasn't too cynical for you today. But we are now in my favourite parts of life now. Cause from grade nine on, life has been pretty good.
Hollie.
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